Fetishes

Fetishism is a large part of BDSM. A fetish being "something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification." You usually hear the word "fetish" used to describe a sexual desire or preference, but really it's something that's an obsession or fixation - even something the person needs in order to get off. A fetish can be anything, but common ones are leather, PVC, denim, heels, and gags. A leather fetishist told me it was the smell of it that got him, and a PVC fetishist focused on the look and feel of the material clinging to the skin.

The only thing I have that comes close to a fetish is for rope. Soft, white, bondage rope. I like the feel of it and the look of it on myself and others. Maybe it's the whole damsel in distress thing, tied up and left on the railroad tracks to be rescued by the hero in the nick of time. Tying someone up with rope, especially in the Japanese style, takes time. Time when you can be close to that person, touching them and manipulating their body. Way more intimate than simply snapping on some leather cuffs.

As a top, I accept the bottom's fetish(es). Whatever they like, turns them on, humiliates them, and/or puts them in that submissive headspace. If he's got a fetish for wearing five inch stilettos and told he's a girly whore, that's what we do. If he needs to be restrained and feel immobile, that's what we do. Whatever they like, within limits, I'm willing to try.