Changes

Daddy T and I broke it off. It was and unhappy ending and I was actually pretty heart broken about it. He sincerely wants to stay friends, but that's always so awkward for me; especially considering how much I still want to be able to fuck him. But moving forward: trying to take care of myself, and focus on some other things in life right now that need to be resolved.

Mr. Squirts is in the hospital, so I've really only been hooking up with Mr. Bricks. But had a club date with a cute girl on Saturday, and going out again on Wednesday.

Went to an all night party at a friend's house last night, and ended up in one of the spare bedrooms with a male friend of mine. He's cute and funny, and we had great conversation all night long. Lying in bed, making out, he's treating me right - pinning me down, choking me, playing with my tits just right, fingering me until I got off. And then he puts my hand down his pants... and he's small. With the largest balls I've ever experienced. It was like two fists side by side. Craziness.

Busy Week

I've been fisted and fucked so rough in the last four days that my cunt is raw and seriously torn up. Hurts to sit. So swollen.

Mr. Bricks is very long and he often hurts me after a long session. I've bled the next day and swear that once or twice he's popped my cervix. On Wednesday, we did 69 with him on top (my favorite way) so he could fuck my mouth; I stretched my head back and was able to open my throat enough to take all of him. He started crying out with joy. It was the best!

Mr. Squirts is my BF in the open marriage, and he almost always makes me squirt... saw him on Thursday. Him and the wife and the kid are staying with his parents right now; his parents and his daughter were asleep upstairs and we fucked for hours in the den. It was like being a kid again, sneaking around! I fell asleep and he woke me up fisting me, saying "shh... just relax... just relax..." Also, I'd helped them run errands that day, so he gave me a full body massage... mmm...

Daddy T tore my pussy apart with more fisting and rough sex on Friday. Clothespins on my nipples, tits, and outer labia. There was also lots of fun Daddy/daughter role play and dirty talk. We finished in the shower with him sitting on the tiled seat and me standing over him, pissing all over his face and torso and lap. Then lots of rough oral with his fingers in my hair bobbing my head up and down. I went to a party and he went to play poker, and I came home at 3:30AM to him sitting on my porch waiting for me. We went inside and passed out, and I woke up an hour or so later to him licking my asshole fervently with my dirty panties wrapped around his dick, jacking himself off. I woke him up this morning riding him, even though it hurt so bad; then got myself off with my vibe while he choked me and talked nasty.

That's not even the half of it.

Overstimulated

Had a crazy night with Daddy T last Sunday. We were drinking a lot and I got a little too fucked up, so laid down to nap around 2AM. Woke up because he was fucking my cunt with a thick, coiled bundle of braided nylon rope, slightly smaller than his fist. We fooled around, our usual fun nasty talk, kissing, slapping around.

He tied my hands behind my back with the rope - which I haven't let anyone do to me in YEARS (trust issues). He put me on my back and ate me out. As I was grinding on his face it was pulling hard on my shoulder blades and smooshing my hands painfully. He flipped me over on my stomach, hands still tied behind my back, and fucked my ass hard.

I managed to squirm out of the loosened ropes and then went down on him. Earlier in the night, he'd admitted that one of his fantasies is forced oral so hard the girl throws up on him. My stomach was full of Vodka 'n Sprites, so I knew it wouldn't be messy and so went for it. He moaned, thinking I was being just drooly and spitty, and then the smell hit him and he realized what it was... I asked if he was okay with it, he enthusiastically said "YES" and so I came up on his cock and lap four or five more times. Sometimes he was forcing me down and sometimes I was. It was so cool to feel his cock head pop past my tonsils and way down into my throat. Made a mess of him, the sheets, my hair. So we went into the shower.

In the shower, I had to piss so he sat down on this little tiled seat we have in there and I stood next to him, putting my left foot up on the edge of the tub, and pissed all over his chest and lap while he finger banged me. One of our faves, and we've done that several times.

He stood up and pushed me down onto my knees under the spray of the shower head and gave me really rough oral under the water... it was going down my throat and nose, and totally drowning me around his cock. Kept having to spit up water and blow it out my nose, all while he's still fucking my face. He pulled out and came in my wet hair. Then showered me off, like a sweet daddy.

It was so much stuff that I wouldn't normally let someone to do me in such a short period of time, than I got a little freaked out. We changed the sheets and flipped the mattress, and then laid in bed twitching under the Xmas lights, not letting him hold me; he was just lying near me rubbing my ass with his fingers.

It totally mind fucked me.

How to score in a fetish club

Funny story...

Two weeks ago, I was at a fetish club night with my carriage whip (pics are in my main photo thing, in the top hat). The line was too long in the ladies room, so I go in the men's room - what I always do when it's too crowded. I'm pissing in the stall and my (male) BFF knocks to come in, so I let him; when I'm finished, I whip him on the ass a couple times before leaving so he can pee.

I walk out of the stall and there's a line of guys, looking at me. I say, "I just had to whip his ass a little while he was pissing."

Ten minutes later, I'm at the bar, and this kid comes up to me. 6'7" and young and cute. Starts talking to me. I put my hand on my ass - I always put my hands on someone's ass when I'm talk to them in the clubs, but when drunk forget that strangers don't know that and probably think I'm coming on to them. He leans over and kisses me. Kisses GOOD. Follows me around all night, like a puppy. Dances with me. Asks to come home with me. So I take him home. He spanked me really good, and tried choking at my request but wasn't too into it.

The next morning, he says that he was standing in line when I walked out of that men's room stall, and as soon as he was done in the john he came looking for me right away. And that's why he wanted me.

Didn't have the heart to tell him I wasn't actually whipping my friend while he was pissing.

Lunch Hour

My doorbell rang, and I open the door. Daddy T bursts in with a bandana around his face, slams the door, grabs a fistful of hair, and literally drags me to my bedroom. Proceeds to beat and rape me for the next hour, to the point where I was shaking and sobbing and apologizing and begging forgiveness. Partly because he was saying the cruelest things to me ever. Being so mean he was breaking my heart!

Pushing me around, hard hard hard slapping across the face, pinning me on the bed, pounding my ass with a dildo, skull fucking me; spitting all over my face, making me spit on his cock, using his cock to smear the drool and spit all over my face. Pushing me down on my belly, putting his full weight on top of me, fucking me hard in the cunt while choking me, spitting in my face, saying the most horrible things.

Grabbing my hair, shoving his sweaty ass crack in my face and forcing me to lick his asshole, while telling me what a disgusting worthless whore I am, and I'm crying and crying and crying.

My new daddy

This new guy I'm seeing is out of this world nasty, dirty, disgusting; and it's the best thing ever. Our paired sexual chemistry is like none other. We're very intuitive about each other's sexual needs: I knew to call him "daddy" and he knew to choke me in response.

He'd apparently been lusting after me for weeks before working up the nerve to make contact, and his eagerness and excitement are such an ego boost. Every time he's come over, we end up spending 24 hours in bed; we just can't leave.

The last time he was over he kept me in my room, drinking and drinking and drinking until I was begging to piss. He started talking dirty and turned me on so much that I had to ride him, full bladder or not. I was feeling so sensitive, and squeezing around him so hard, trying not to piss all over him and the bed, it was the single best orgasm I've had in months. To the point where now I'm now considering only fucking when I have to pee.

After I stopped shaking, he took me to the bathroom, stripped us naked, and sat on the tiled ledge in my shower stall; he made me stand over him and commanded me to piss - all over his chest and lap, fingering me during and saying sweet, dirty things. I just kept pissing and pissing, for the longest damn time. When I was finally done, fell on my knees and put my head in his lap to lick him clean and suck him off, getting my face and hair all wet. He turned on the shower, stood up, and put me kneeling under the spray, where he face fucked me harshly with the water going in my mouth and nostrils.

I've done water sports before, but this was the first time it was truly hot to me.

Double Duty

Spent two nights in a row with The Captain last week, and we've moved from just rough sex into more S&M.

The first night, he started things off with a good, long flogging while I was bent over his bed. Full, hard thudding blows, and wrist-flicking strikes that sting. Hitting my back, shoulders, arms, thighs, calves, and of course my ass. My ass, my ass, my ass, until it was burning and hot. Attacking my palms and the bottoms of my feet until I was begging him to stop. Beating me until I was pressing my face into his mattress, inhaling the smell of him, and sobbing. For an hour, until I finally stood up, arms and legs shaking, and said, "please, please, no." Then he came up behind me, put his arms around me, and kissed the tears running across my cheeks and neck. And then, of course, fucking me until my eyes rolled back in my head. Fucking me in the ass so good it felt the top of my skull was going to blow off.

Later that same night, he flogged me again. Harder, mostly on my ass, while I was lying on the bed on my stomach. I was already so sore, and he did it hard enough and long enough that I started to zone out from the pain. The endorphins kicked in so much that I got drowsy and almost nodded off. So relaxed and so happy.

The next night, he flogged me even worse (because I'd asked him to). Again, bent over his bed, I was screaming into his mattress at the top of my lungs. Now, knowing my body better and how it can take a flogging, what kind of strikes don't bother me too bad and which ones I can barely tolerate (the flicking, stinging ones), he was able to really hurt me. Again he held me, from behind, when I'd had enough, then pushed me on the bed, on my knees, and fucked me while I was still weeping and shaking.

I slept over that night. We joked around, talked, and laughed a lot before going to bed. I nestled against him, with him arm around me, while sleeping. The next morning his alarm went off and while still half-asleep I felt him reach over, turn off the alarm, turn back and lean over me for a few seconds. Then he kissed me carefully on the lips and laid back down to doze off for a bit.

This sentimentality from him doesn't alarm me like it normally would because I know he's fucking other girls and that he doesn't want anything from me, except those hours we have together. And he knows I don't want anything from him, except those hours together. Maybe that's why it works, and we can be so affectionate together and compassionate to each other, because we know that neither of us owns the other.

Also, this past weekend, went on a date with an older male dominant and his young female submissive. That was an interesting dynamic. Seems like it'd be something where she and I were both submissive to him, but I was dominant over her. Although, I can tell that I'm definitely more sadistic than he is, and she might not realize what she'd be getting herself into. If I were to join a BDSM couple (man and woman), thinking I'd enjoy it more if the female and I were equals and dominant over the man. But at the same time, I'd love to be used like a whore by two men. Weird, huh?

Scratching the Itch

The Captain is a 6'4" tattooed and pierced punk/goth scenester in his early 30s. And he might just be a bigger whore than me. Our first get together, I went over his place and we were fucking within an hour (if up to me it would've been sooner, but he felt like talking, I guess). We were up until four in the morning, and I slept there for two hours before heading off to work.

I can barely remember all of it in order. It was just sucking, licking, biting, smacking, fucking fucking fucking. He was surprisingly impressed that I have no gag reflex and slapped my face while I gave him deep-throat. He knew I like breath play, so he'd pinch my nose shut and hold my head tight against him. So fucking hot. He's a moaner when getting head, which is the best; I hate guys who lie there and take is silently.

I do very, very distinctly remember the last fuck. He said, "I want you on your knees," and I got on the bed on all fours. He stood next to the bed and fucked me from behind hard. So damn hard the friction made me dry, and he kept on going. He reached forward and grabbed the front of my throat, choking me and pulling my head and torso backwards. With his other hand, he'd slap my face over and over while fucking like a monster.

He'd treated my mouth so rough that the next day my throat was seriously sore and I ended up losing my voice.

Under the Weather

I've been so sick the past week with an allergy-induced head cold, and in an all-around shitty mood. Yesterday, starting to feel a little better, I realized my bad temper probably had more to do with not getting laid in five days and less with being sick. So, The Artist treated me to a great afternoon romp when I came home early from work.

He started off with kisses on my lips, face and neck, his hands cradling my face, and then got me off with his fingers and tongue. And then again. And then almost a third time, but it was one of those really deep inner cunt orgasms that just go on and on and never quite peak. He could tell I was primed, and started rolling me back and forth - belly and back - whacking my ass and smacking my tits around. With me on my back, he fucked my tits. I licked the cock head every time it emerged, and loved feeling his balls pressed hard against my belly. He slid down and fucked my cunt, kissing my mouth, putting his arms around me, and made me come again. I blew him, unable to take him all the way in because my throat is still sore as all hell, and then watched him jerk off until he came on my face.

I love the look on his face when he calls me his "little whore." A look like he knows he owns me. I'm a feminist, daughter of a feminist, and a dues-paying member of the National Organization for Women, but I love a man who knows he's a man. A man who relishes his masculinity in a pure way, without any misogyny. He respects his woman and can be kind and generous, but knows how to make a woman feel possessed and feel like his woman. Make any sense?

Things are starting to look hopeful on the Girlfriend Search. Chatting up a cute, chubby thing on a BDSM dating site. We have a lot in common, including our relationship situations (i.e. her partner is okay with her having an outside female sex buddy). Keeping fingers crossed.

Highlights of the Last Month

The Artist had me collared, blind-folded, wrists cuffed behind my back, and bent over a table in his studio while he beat my ass with a crop. Strangely, the first time I've allowed myself to be blindfolded or have my hands restrained; I've just never trusted someone enough before. Terrifying and lovely. When he was done beating me and tossing me around, he propped me up on a chair and ate me out.

Many, many wonderful blowjobs with his fingers in my hair, his hands pushing my head down further and faster, his stomach muscles clenching against my cheek, his sexy voice calling me his filthy whore and telling me to choke on his dick. Telling me to lick his asshole while jerking him off, his balls flopping against my eyes and nose. God, I love that sound in his voice when I take him down my throat, and his glee when he told me to take him all in and then try to lick his balls and I was able to do it.

Telling him over drinks at a bar that getting fucked in the ass is more intimate than the cunt. That any idiot can fuck me in the cunt and do me no harm, but I need to trust and like a man to let him take my ass and know that he'll do it right. That night he fucked my ass for the first time, making me come and telling me (to my absolute delight) that he went easy on me and will "really go at it" next time.

The Artist asking me not to date other men and me agreeing. He's amused with how sexual I am, though, and wants me to have girlfriends. Not for a three-way, not for us, just for me. Bless his heart.

Eau de Man-Stink

In a lot of ways, The Artist is my perfect sexual match: passionate, aggressive, tender, forceful, affectionate. We both have that duality in our sexual nature and successfully feed off eachother, alternating between the kind and the cruel. He loves eating pussy even more than I love sucking cock (which is a lot). We've stood kissing and stroking each other for minutes on end. I've shown up at his place, ripped our clothes off, kissing him so hard our teeth clanged together, and got off all over his face.

My affection for him is totally influenced by the fact that he gave me the biggest, hardest orgasm I've had in years. I'm talkin' uncontrollable screaming, limbs thrashing, muscles clenching so hard I pulled my hamstrings and got a charley horse. God bless that man's mouth.

Mostly it's really rough sex. Me sucking him off while sqeezing his balls and biting his dick; him forcing his cock down my throat and then pinching my nose closed when I start to gag. Riding him with his hands tight around my neck until I see stars. On my back, pounding me so hard he leaves bruises on the inside of my thighs.

For some weird fucking reason, I really like the sweaty, stinking smell of him after sex, and I've actually put my face in his chest hair and armpits to sniff him in. He suggested gagging me with a dirty, sweaty t-shirt of his, and the idea made me dripping wet.

Frustrated

The Hippie finally came through as a top. He had me tied up and sobbing last night, and there are still welts on my ass, red marks across my throat, and bruises in the shape of bite-marks on my tits. Some deep-dicking would've ended it perfectly, but that didn't happen. Just my luck: in order to get what I've been missing, I have to miss what I've been getting. What's up with that?

I'm getting a little scared of myself because I'm never completely sated, and I'm not sure exactly what it is that I need. I know that more and more often I'm wanting something soft and sweet and tender and that I have no interest in that from a man, so I want a girlfriend and some serious queening time. Also, I want a really aggressive man. No top or bottom, no roles, just me and him beating the shit out of each other until we're sweaty, drooling, and panting like dogs, then he pins me down, shoves his fist in my mouth, and fucks me bow-legged. Okay people, make it happen. Chop chop.

My Multi-Orgasmic Ass

The Hippie called when he got home from work. He'd had a horrible day and was hoping for some oral. I agreed to come over and laughed after getting off the phone with him. He can never have just a blowjob. He gets too excited and then wants to fuck. Sure enough, less than ten minutes of head and he was dragging me to the bed, to fuck my ass. Me on my stomach, legs straight out, and him on top with his knees on either side of my ass, leaning over, his face next to mine. He's the best ass fucker I've ever known, and I came twice.

(Dear God: thank you that I can orgasm from anal. It makes up for all the other bullshit. Love, Me)